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You would not believe what happened today. There I was this morning ...having checked the score again, rushing off to the photocopy shop to get a score proper made!! ' It's urgent' , I said ' Can you do it today?' ' Yes, sure we can!!' .

I went back to pick it up this afternoon and the paper was blocking their photocopier because it was too thin!!! . ALors! I bought another packet of paper ( thicker  and more expensive ). Then I hurried home and loaded the printer. Opened the computer and software Sibelius, clicked on ' print' and the b....y printer was out of ink!!!!

 I hurried back to the shop, still hoping to finish the job today and post in the morning!.....they didn't have the model in the shop!! It has been ordered and will not arrive until tuesday or wednesday next week!!!

 I went to the cafe and had a glass with a friend and a good laugh!!! Now, I don't believe in ' mistakes'...for some reason, unknown to me at this moment, there has to be a delay. SO....I will begin work on another project. Have a lovely evening all...xx


I can hardly believe it but I've just completed the structure of the last section AND I like it!! Mind you!! What the players will think is another matter.

 It's a joyful ending....I have no idea why, or how it got there since I feel so sad about my little dog, but it proves what I've always suspected! That creation takes place in another part of the Being of an artist....not the mind, although that's the tool we use to manifest what we hear.

Now all that remains is further scrutiny, adding markings, eliminating any mistakes and that will be done tomorrow at the Cafe ready to take to the photocopy shop to have it made into a back to back score. Then ....The post to the cellist. I'll let you know how she reacts!! Go away Cissyphus!!! Have a lovely evening all xxx 


I've finally sketched the end of the concerto. ( Venus conjunct Mars )/

 Three days ago, the ' disagreeable' dachshund ( who was really a bundle of love ...all of 4 kilos ) had to be euthanased and I thought I could not finish the work for the sadness I feel! However, having walked most of the day with my hunting dog ( we don't hunt!! ), the last section 'arrived' in my psyche.

 All I have to do now is to go to the cafe in the morning and orchestrate the sketch. Then follows the transfer to the excellent software Sibelius 6. After that I must ' clean up' the score. Scrutinise dynamic and technical markings etc. It should be ok to send to the cellist on tuesday.

Eliane, whom I have never met, has recently retired from Monte Carlo Phil and kindly agreed to look at the piece......I'm very nervous about that!!

There you go again Jil!! There's that ' little voice' teacher used to call it ' Cissyphus'...or at least I think that's how it's spelt!

 This is a sort of 'archetypel energy 'that all humans battle . It's an egoic dictator...and my erudite astrologer frequently reminds us that the collective is also the personal!! What we see in the ' outside' world is first in us!!

 But what is so interesting at this time in our history, is how our awareness is changing us and our perceived world! Look at Egypt, now Bahrein and Libya and the restlessness of other suppressed peoples!! See how discord is essential in the re-creation of peace and justice.

Discord in writing music for me, represents our ' shadow side' and used rightly....that is in ' awareness,' only enhances through contrast, the beauty  that longs to be expressed.

 But that is  a big subject and will have to be written about another time . Cissyphus or not, the score will be sent this week... I'll keep you informed. Have a lovely day all...xx 


Something very interesting happened today! I was walking through the small town of Vence where I live in Southern France and noticing that people were passing by talking to themselves!!!! at least that's how it appeared to me at first. Then I realised, they were all on mobile phones!!!

 They had two things in common, 1) they were all in their own little worlds completely cut off from the mainstream of life around us! 2) they had none of the usual subconscious awareness of the ' auras' of other people and were frequently bumping into passers by or would have been if we hadn't moved out of the way!!.

 Then I arrived at Le Clemenceau, which is another cafe where I go to work on my scores, usually at morning coffee time. I't's situated in the old town opposite the cathedral and there is no traffic there. As I sat down and took my score from the bag, blow me!! there it all was again!! couples, people in small groups with one or more on a mobile phone...completely cut off from the conversation!!

  Now I am a great believer in the possibility that if we are ' awake' , we can notice something very interesting in the experiences that alert us like that and that is, that we are projecting aspects of our inner 'life' into the environment. If you like, what we are noticing is actually our unconscious selves being mirrored back to our consciousness.

 Today's observed events, posed a question....was I seeing the reason that I felt so 'cut off' from the flow of my creativity at the moment? Was it being shown to me in a series of events which occur every day?  I looked at my score, then Stephano arrrived with my coffee.

 Hey presto!!! It was magical!! I only needed to be aware of what had been happening to be freed from it....immediately, I understood, I had no need of an analysis or a lengthy dialogue with myself or anyone else!! The ' mobile phone conversation' was representative of an old conversation I overheard in my temporarily cut me off from the flow of creativity or musical conversation in another part of my being!!

  I looked again at the score and began to ' hear' and 'see' a solution. What is most interesting is that I used the bar where I thought I was stuck in a different form to reintroduce the first part of the work, which happens to contain a good melody  and this time scored it just for solo violin ( Venus ) and solo cello ( Mars ) .

  This involved a tricky key change but all was well!  I am now ( monday evening) on the last final section !! I hope to finish by tomorrow evening. Have a lovely evening all xx      


As you may remember from the previous blog ( Steak, Chips and a Double Concerto' , it's further down the page ) When Venus and Mars are together or ' conjunct', we can reasonably expect harmony, peace and love!!

For some reason, I am experiencing a difficulty in writing the last few bars of the work!! Should I blame Egypt? or my disagreeable Dachshund or is it all a bit ' closer to home'...? I'm beginning to feel daunted by it.

 I get an idea with which the strings are delighted but there's a moan from the woodwind...then the solo Violin and Cello begin to feel ' left out'!! Mon Dieu!! Even another Steak and Chips didn't do it!!  What should I do?  Ha!! I know from experience that annoying as it is, it cannot be hurried....bit like the birth of a baby. It arrives when it arrives...not before.

 Since I am a Libran, ruled by Venus, I am feeling just a tad let down by the ' Goddess' this evening but I have the feeling that I have to overcome a fear before it will arrive! and what's that then? Ah!! That's personal !!but the answer's to be found in the current Venus Pluto Conjunction in Capricorn...there! That's foxed you, me too!!!! xx

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